Monthly Archives: October 2015

Is There Anything to Miss?

If You Couldn’t Tell By Now…

So if you have kept up at all, I am sure that you got the hint that I have been pretty miserable in most of my adult working jobs, especially one’s that strictly dealt with people on a daily basis. I have so much empathy for all of you out there who have not had to deal with the lowest of society and be talked down to by them as part of your job.

But was it all bad? Do I really detest the human species as a whole from working with people so much?

Honestly, I kind of do…

Give Us Something Here

Alright let me take a second to sit back and really think about every job that I have held and ponder up all the fond memories… Yeah, the memories aren’t really flooding my brain and onto my keyboard right now…

If I had to pick one of the jobs from my past as my favorite, it would have to be the tree gig I had. I started off as just one of the guys working on the job sites and eventually worked up to the project manager which was pretty much the same thing, I just did less work and basically baby sat the crew and made sure everything went smooth. Aside from dealing with my pompous boss, tree removal projects were the worst parts of the job. For any of you out there who have never seen a whole tree root from out of the ground, they are huge. You wouldn’t believe the size of some of the tree roots I have seen and dealing with them properly without damaging the owners property or yard was not easy.

Alright I have never had to deal with anything like this, but you see what I am getting at here.

And Back To People

I think I enjoyed this job the most because I had to deal with the least amount of people every day. Seriously, when I think about it I would have to rate the jobs I have had in accordance to how much interaction with people was involved.

My tree job really only dealt with people when we first got to the job site, and when were all done and getting paperwork signed and what not but for the most part, my co-workers were the only ones I really had to deal with and they were a blast.

For the most part though, there really aren’t many aspects of any of the jobs I have had that I can say I miss at all. I am one of those people that like to get to my job, see what I am doing for the day, go do it without talking to anyone, and punching out. I work to make money and leave; that’s it.

The only thing I will say is that I kind of miss not really having to beat my body up every day and go to bed feeling sore, I work construction now and between working with trees for years and this, my body is starting to feel it.

But on the other hand, the hangovers I felt from the absolute need to drink after dealing with people all day were way worse than any sore back I get from my construction job now, right?

Alright, Maybe They Aren’t All Psychotic; So To Speak…


So I’ve kind of been on this little boss tear lately if you have been keeping up at all with my last couple posts so I figured why not keep this little lovely theme going, shall we?


By now you know that I have worked just about every kind of odd job that you can think of and I think I have dealt with every kind of boss that there is out there. Any of you that have had multiple non-career type jobs know what I mean when I say that there are a a hundred different types of bosses out there and for the most part, they all suck

Out of all of them though, I must say that restaurant managers, general managers, or bar owners in general are the absolute craziest in a number of different ways. I am not exaggerating or using the term “crazy” loosely by any means by the way. If you have never worked in a restaurant for more than a month ask anyone who has and any seasoned restaurant industry veteran will back up everything I am saying here. Trust me on this one.

Different Kind of Crazy

So the boss from my first job is the kind of guy that I picture most bosses being at your “real jobs” out there. Suit and tie, serious look 24/7, and just general feeling of superiority over everyone. An Office Space cubicle type, if you will. Restaurant managers do have these qualities, but a little bit more subtlety and sprinkled in with perversion, drug addiction, and immaturity.

Pretty much every restaurant job I have ever had was a big party outside of the workplace. Hell, the party WAS the workplace at a couple of them. Seriously, I have literally been hammered drunk on the job more often than sober for a few of the places I’ve worked at. And it was totally acceptable. Everyone that works in the industry (and stays in it) likes to party and that is a fact pretty much 100% of the time.

For the average worker and restaurant company, you do need a degree if you want to get hired in off the street as a manager. But you definitely do not have to have one. I would say the majority of the places I have worked at hired their managers from within and they almost always started off as a server and had been there long enough to get promoted and run the place.

This always meant that the same dude that was behind the bar lining up shots for the 19 year old servers just last month, is now the boss. The owners never knew that this was going on in corporate places. They just sit in their suit and ties from an office and are oblivious to the absolute debauchery that takes place in their businesses but I wasn’t going to be the one to say anything. I always got along with all of my managers because I never gave a shit about the place, but I was great at what I did and that is all that matters at the end of the day. If you can handle 10 tables at a time and never call in sick or get a complaint from a customer, you can pretty much get away with murder. Which I did.

Dirty Old Men

Most of the dudes (I say men because this very rarely applied to women, but I have seen it happen) that run restaurants are banging at least 2 of the very younger servers that are working for him. I have seen some absolute TENS hook up with managers that were twice their age and not good looking by any means.

I know that people say “power” is super attractive to women but I had no idea just how much it was until I worked in a few bars. Seriously, anyone out there just looking to get laid and not take work that seriously, get into the restaurant industry.

I could write a book on restaurant managers alone and I think I want to go more in depth on this one eventually, it’s bringing back some fun memories but I don’t want to drag on too long in one post.

Stay tuned for more!

Are All Bosses Sociopaths?

I Guess I Was A Boss

If you have kept up at all and read my first lovely rant on women, you saw sprinkled in there that I managed for a tree service company when I was in my 20’s for a few years. Even now I wouldn’t have considered myself a “boss” in this position but I guess technically I was for a small group of guys. I guess you could say I was the “project manager” and basically oversaw the crew for some of the smaller projects we got called out for but I definitely had a few guys above me.

This is how I looked on my first 3 days of the position. Didn’t last long…

I was pretty much in charge of basic tree trimming and cutting jobs that weren’t really emergencies and didn’t require our entire staff to do. Take a look at the tree trimming or cutting pages here if you are interested in exactly what I had to be in charge of. Nothing too crazy and was all pretty standard work once you had any clue what you were doing. I worked with a great group of guys too and they kind of ran themselves. I really did more actual labor work than I had to in my position but I just felt lazy and stupid standing there watching my guys do all the work while I could be an extra hand, cutting down the time it took to finish the job and just take some of the load off of my guys.

Seems sensible and like the right thing to do, right?

Couldn’t Do It

So eventually word was getting around that I was basically doing as much work as my crew when we went out to these jobs and my bosses were not happy about it.

Anyone else have a boss or ever had one that has this exact sociopathic absolutely throat punchable little smirk whenever they aren’t happy about something?

I can still see the smirk on the guy right above me and my position at the company, Jerry. How hateable is a guy named Jerry?

So Jerry called me into his office one day to talk about how my new position as project manager was going and to “discuss” a few things. I always hated Jerry and his passive-aggressiveness. He would always call people in and at first act like he’s about to promote them for all their hard work but then would just immediately turn off his decent human being switch and go right to how terrible you are.

So in a roundabout way, Jerry started asking me about how much actual work I am putting into these jobs and wouldn’t I think it would be better to start investing a little bit more time into what I am being paid to do, actually oversee and manage our employees? So let me get this straight Jerry. You would rather have me kick back, pull up a lawn chair and drink a beer just watching my employees and friends do all of this hard work in front of me? I really don’t understand the logic here. I got suspended for a week without pay for my “insubordination.”

I Hope It Makes You Feel Better About Yourself, I Really Do

I always kind of thought that you really have to have a distinct character flaw if you truly wanted to pursue 2 types of careers. CEO’s and police officers. This is based off nothing but my own personal experiences and lack of knowledge, mind you. But I don’t know what it is about people who absolutely CRAVE authority. Something had to have happened in their lives to make them so miserable and just want to abuse whatever little power they have on whoever the hell they can.

Needless to say I didn’t last much longer at that job. Shortly after my little talk with Jerry, I was on to my next job of misery…

First Real Job and Where My Bitterness Began

Probably Should Have Thought This Through…

So at the ripe and mature age of 15, I got my first job. I don’t really remember why I thought it would be a good idea to be a trap puller for my town’s local gun range, but I did and jumped right in not having ever held a gun or gone hunting in my life.


For those of you who are like I was and have no idea what a gun ranger “puller” is, it’s the person who goes out with a shooter and pushes the button for the clay pigeons to shoot out when the shooter says “pull.” Easy enough, right?

Got My First Glimpse Into The Working World…

So as I mentioned before, I was not, and am not a hunter or an “outdoorsy woods person” by any means. I had never held a gun in my life. If you gave me a shotgun and asked me to reload it, I would be dead in under 7 seconds. My friend Kyle on the other hand was an AVID hunter, fisherman, camper, and whatever other outdoor activities there are and he loved every second of it. He grew up hunting with his dad and it ran in his family so it was only natural that he applied to be a puller at the range.

So at this point I had been “fired” by my horrid old neighbor (see here) a few years prior and hearing my dear friend Kyle brag about the money he had was making me miss having a steady income. Yes $4/ hour was absolutely a steady income at that age thank you very much.

“Hey Kyle, any chance you can put in a good word for me and get me a job?”

I went in after school that day and went in for an interview. It was a girl who worked the register and I remember her being super hot which made me immediately excited to start working there. I was hired on the spot and started the next day.

So I went in to begin my training and the lady who hired me was waiting there to get me started. I think her name was April. Oh God how I loved April.

Shortly after my lovely interaction with this Goddess, feeling great and looking forward to working with her every day I met the actual owner of the place, Larry. As you can probably see where I am going with this, Larry was not a Goddess by any means. Larry was an ass hole.

Up to this point, I had never met a more money hungry penny pinching douche bag in my life. I don’t want to list off every reason why I hated this man as I am sure most of you have had to deal with an annoying boss. One example. So we had a coffee pot in the main lobby or whatever and it was complimentary for any of the shooters that came in. We had to start at 7:30 in the morning because for God knows what reason, hunters seem to start their day at 3:00 am. So you would think this coffee would be complimentary for his well taken care of and valued employees right? Wrong. The selfish cheapskate who is Larry actually CHARGED US EMPLOYEES A DOLLAR PER CUP OF COFFEE.

I really and genuinely don’t understand bosses who treat their employees like absolute trash. How cheap can a man be?

This seems to be the case with pretty much every job out there these days unfortunately. There will never be enough ways to cut costs and make a few extra pennies with pretty much every job I’ve ever held.

Oh the sweet American way…

Hated My First Boss, A 67 Year Old Widow Neighbor…

Have Worked For Them All…

Anyone else out there look back at some of the jobs they have had and really think about some of the people that you had to take orders from and do what they say?

I will say that I haven’t really had to deal with many bosses that look like this guy. I haven’t ever worked in an office or suit and tie kind of place luckily. I can’t imagine the horror of that but I will say that It truly amazes me what kinds of animals I have had as bosses at my numerous random odd jobs throughout my 20’s.

I think that bosses that I’ve had working in a lot of different restaurants were the craziest that I’ve ever had to deal with. I’m not exaggerating that about 50% of the number of bosses I’ve had were either an alcoholic or had some drug addiction and it was well known throughout the whole restaurant. It was almost a normal thing and people didn’t think twice about it. Half of them don’t end up holding the position as a manager or even GM for more than a few years. I can’t imagine what the actual turn-over rate is for restaurant managers though out the country compared to other jobs.

Getting Off-Track…

I consider myself to have been an employee for pretty much my whole life. At least as far back as I can remember…

Alright, maybe not exactly an “employee” but I did start working for my 67 year old woman neighbor when I was around 11 or 12 years old but didn’t get my first real job until I was 15. I don’t really know how it started but her husband died about a year before I started working for her and I think my mom felt bad so basically sold me off to her for 3 hours a day, 2 nights a week at $4 an hour. I will give her credit though, 4 bucks an hour at 11 years old was like winning the lottery every week for me… But I hated that woman.

I know what you’re thinking and I feel bad for saying it, but she was a bitch. She was a bitch way before her husband died too so I know it wasn’t just because she was sad or lonely or anything but I always hated her. Without just listing the million reasons, she, in a nut shell, was that crazy old lady in the neighborhood that HATES kids so we just never really “ciicked” as neighbors.

So her husband had a lot of money and they had a pretty badass built-in pool in their backyard. She has always been psychotic about it and that was usually the work I had to. So one day I was cleaning off the fence around her pool and getting every single leaf and whatever harmless random debris off it. Long story short, I slipped and snapped one of the poles right in half on my way down. I wish I could say I was strong enough to take down a metal fence but it wasn’t. It was one of those mesh fences that really aren’t that strong. Imagine an 11 year old helpless little kid cleaning a poor old lady’s fence and shattering one of the poles in one of the pictures on this site because that is exactly what it looked like. If i would have seen a little kid do that right now I would be in pain from laughing.

She didn’t find it that funny unfortunately. She basically flipped out and accused me of messing around her pool while I should be cleaning and that I was a terrible kid.

And that’s how I got fired from my first job from my first boss. How little did I know that this was unfortunately something that I was going to have to get used to…


And Moving On…

So being a single guy in his early 30’s definitely has its perks. In a lot of ways I still have the mentality of a kid and I really don’t think there is anything wrong with it.

Am I the only one that still day dreams about being a kid? Seriously, the biggest worry I had growing up was not being home in time, after playing all day with friends mind you, to see my favorite TV show at night. No bills, no boss breathing down your neck, and best of all you ask?


Ladies, Please Read…

For any ladies that might be reading this, I promise I’m not the fat disrespectful misogynistic pig that you all are picturing me as right now. Don’t get me wrong; I love women. I could not survive on this planet without women and there are plenty of redeeming qualities about all you lovely gals out there.


Having said that, you all need to take a second to step back, collect yourselves, and CALM THE HELL DOWN PLEASEEEEEEEE!!! This is a plea to any woman reading this who may have found themselves in situations where they seem to… I don’t know… Maybe overreact a little bit for lack of a better term? In all seriousness, this video sums up what the 99.9% of women I have been involved with need to practice…

This may appear to be a little sarcastic and simple but I have found that pretty much all of my relationships could have been saved with these easy steps. Do I have to get on my hands and knees ladies???

Little Background…

So up until about 3 years ago when I finally got into the construction business, I have worked in some sort of customer service. I have held jobs in the restaurant industry, retail, managing a tree service company, roofing for a small company, and even customer service calls for a cable company (by far the worst) among other jobs.

So I have dealt with people… A lot. I think this is half the reason I am so jaded and judgmental when it comes to people and the girls that I involve myself in but I just absolutely cannot help it. I genuinely and 100% judge a person real hard based on the way they treat people in the customer service. Alright, I don’t base my entire perception of someone on it but it does hold a lot of weight.

So What Happened?

As I mentioned before, I am a single guy and have not held any kind of serious relationship in over 4 years. Sure, I’ve had plenty of flings and what not that never really lead to anything serious and I have had the absolute pleasure (insert sarcasm here) of interacting with all different types of the female gender.

Over the past 3 weeks I have been kind of seeing this girl that I met through a mutual friend and everything was going great until last night when we went out to dinner. Now this was the second time I have gone out with her and the first time she had a few drinks in her so I brushed off her condescending tone to our bartender but last night was too much. Long story short, our server (who was super nice by the way) accidentally forgot to put in our appetizer order. Hey, we all make mistakes right? I know I’ve been guilty of this when I was a server way more than a handful of times.

So as the server brought out our entrees without bringing out our appetizer my date, let’s call her Debby, immediately slammed her drink down and went to bitch mode.

Debby- “Oh, wow let me guess you forgot to put in our appetizer like I knew you would didn’t you?”


Bye Debby, I wish I could say it has been nice knowing you. I immediately had the server bring our check and I got to enjoy my dinner from a box in my apartment by myself. A situation I am finding myself all too familiar with these days…